I decided to document the symptoms of the possible mental disorders I may have.
~PTSD~
I just recently found out i have symptoms of PTSD. I always thought PTSD was the result of a physical trauma but it can be psychological, emotional and spiritual as well. I had a realization last year about some things and since then I've just been remembering that moment over and over. One of the symptoms are intrusive memories - read below.
Symptoms of intrusive memories may include:
Recurrent, unwanted distressing memories of the traumatic event
Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again (flashbacks)✔
Upsetting dreams or nightmares about the traumatic event✔
Severe emotional distress or physical reactions to something that reminds you of the traumatic event✔
~BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER~
I once thought I had this but I didn't feel at the time that I had abandonment issues, but I actually realized that I do have abandonment issues but there are more symptoms than that and i have most of them or hav had them since childhood - read below.
Fear of abandonment. People with BPD are often terrified of being abandoned or left alone.
Unstable relationships. ✔
Unclear or shifting self-image.✔
Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors.✔
Self-harm. ✔
Extreme emotional swings.
Chronic feelings of emptiness. ✔
Explosive anger.✔
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality.
~ADHD~
I don't know if I really have this one, but based on the symptoms I could - read below.
Common Signs of ADHD in Women
Here are some ways that ADHD might show up in your life:
Your desk at work is piled high with papers. Even when you make a big effort to tidy it, it only stays clear for a day or two.✔
Being at the office feels difficult. The noise and people make it hard to get work done.
You often stay late at the office, as the only time you can work well is when everyone else has left and it's quiet.✔
You spend a lot of time and effort to look "normal," and hope no one notices the real you.✔
You feel like you're drowning in paper. At work, home, in your car, and even in your purse. You have an uneasy feeling that unpaid bills and forgotten projects are hiding under the paper.✔
You dislike going to parties and other social gatherings because they make you feel overwhelmed and shy.✔
Your mind drifts during conversations unless you're the one talking or it's a topic you find very interesting.✔
Friendships can be difficult to navigate because social rules seem complicated.
You talk more than anyone else you know.
Growing up, you were always described as a tomboy because you had so much energy and liked to be busy.✔
You don't feel organized with money and are usually behind with bills. ✔
You often overspend to compensate for other problems. For example, you don't have a clean outfit to wear for an office party so you buy a new one. Or you forgot someone's birthday, so you buy an expensive present to make up for it.✔
Shopping trips make you feel better in the moment, but you feel regret later when the credit card bill arrives.✔
You spend a lot of time, money, and research on products to help you be more organized, but then you don't use them.
You feel very embarrassed to have guests visit your home because it's so cluttered and disorganized.
You wish you were able to be a better friend, partner, or mom, and that you would do the things that other people do. For example, you wish you could remember birthdays, bake cookies, and arrive on time for a date.
Because you're not able to do the things that society expects women to do, people may think you don't care.
Grocery stores overwhelm you, and you find it hard to make decisions about what to buy.✔
You often forget a key ingredient for a meal even though you take longer in the store than most people do.✔
It feels like each day is spent responding to requests and limiting disasters rather than moving forward with your goals.✔
You feel frustrated that people you went to school with pass you by with their achievements, even though you know you're just as smart.✔
You feel crushing sadness and frustration that you haven't met your potential.
Little things can push you over the top and you become emotional.✔
You find it hard to relax.✔
~AUTISM~
There are so many symptoms that I relate to in this mental illness but they can also overlap with other is illnesses. I literally have most of the social communication symptoms and a few of the behavioral symptoms - read below.
//Social communication and interaction symptoms//
Children and adults with autism often have difficulty connecting with others.
This can result in a range of symptoms, such as:
inability to look at or listen to people✔
no response to their name
resistance to touching✔
a preference for being alone✔
inappropriate or no facial gestures✔
inability to start a conversation or keep one going✔
excessive talk about a favorite subject with no regard for the reactions of others✔
speech problems or unusual speech patterns✔
inability to express emotions✔ or recognize them in others
trouble recognizing simple social cues
difficulty following simple directions✔ (sometimes)
inability to predict someone’s response or reaction✔
inappropriate social interactions
inability to recognize nonverbal forms of communication✔
//Behavioral pattern symptoms//
People with autism often have repetitive behavior patterns that are hard to break.
Some of these patterns include:
performing repetitive movements, such as rocking back and forth
developing routines or rituals that can’t be disrupted✔
self-harming, including biting and head-banging✔
repeating words and phrases✔
becoming extremely fascinated with a particular subject matter, fact, or detail✔
experiencing sensations of light and sound more or less powerfully than others✔
fixating on particular objects or activities
having particular food preferences or aversions to food textures✔
~MALADAPTIVE DAY DREAMING~
Yes, I have all of these symptoms. I have been daydreaming since I was about 12 years old. It was just adapting my life into stories in my head but then it started happening randomly and not in my control - read below.
A person who is purported to have maladaptive daydreaming may have one or more symptoms of the disorder, but not necessarily all of them. Common symptoms include:
extremely vivid daydreams with their own characters, settings, plots, and other detailed, story-like features✔
daydreams triggered by real-life events✔
difficulty completing everyday tasks✔
difficulty sleeping at night✔
an overwhelming desire to continue daydreaming✔
performing repetitive movements while daydreaming✔
making facial expressions while daydreaming✔
whispering and talking while daydreaming✔
daydreaming for lengthy periods (many minutes to hours)✔
~SOCIAL ANXIETY DISORDER~
I'm not sure if this is a result of my bipolar disorder or because of the other mental disorders I may have and it just overlaps. I feel terrified when i have to go into crowded places. I have a fear of embarrassing myself in front of people. I feel like everyone is watching me in those places - read below.
Symptoms may include excess fear of situations in which one may be judged✔, worry about embarrassment or humiliation✔, or concern about offending someone.
~GENERALIZED ANXIETY DISORDER~
Yes, I would suddenly feel impending doom at times, especially in my teens and twenties. Not so much since then. But I still occasionally feel bad vibes. When I looked at the symptoms I do have many of these symptoms to this day including the physical symptoms - read below.
Symptoms
Generalized anxiety disorder symptoms can vary. They may include:
Persistent worrying or anxiety about a number of areas that are out of proportion to the impact of the events✔
Overthinking plans and solutions to all possible worst-case outcomes✔
Perceiving situations and events as threatening, even when they aren't
Difficulty handling uncertainty✔
Indecisiveness and fear of making the wrong decision✔
Inability to set aside or let go of a worry
Inability to relax, feeling restless, and feeling keyed up or on edge
Difficulty concentrating, or the feeling that your mind "goes blank"
Physical signs and symptoms may include:
Fatigue✔
Trouble sleeping✔
Muscle tension or muscle aches✔
Trembling, feeling twitchy✔
Nervousness or being easily startled✔
Sweating✔
Nausea, diarrhea or irritable bowel syndrome✔
Irritability✔
~BIPOLAR DISORDER~ Actually diagnosed when I was 12 years old.
I don't need to put anything here because I have been diagnosed for this twice.
6:20 p.m. - 2021-06-21
Recent entries:
Woe is Me...Again! - 2021-10-08
Thoughts on condescending words - 2021-08-20
Crazy Coincidence - 2021-08-07
self diagnosis - mental disorders - 2021-06-21
A Child's Mind - 2021-06-08
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