Not everyone who you think is your best friend is actually your best friend. I've learned that if they have another friend that they are close too, then more than likely that person is their best friend. I had a 'bestfriend' in high school (about 2 years) that I was around all the time and I noticed that she always had another friend around. What I realized later, is that girl was 'her bestfriend' and that she never once called me her bestfriend.
Then in college I had another 'bestfriend', who always had a friend around her, but she would hang around me a lot too (about 3 yrs) . I figured we were all just bestfriends. However, the other girl really didn't open up to me about personal stuff and neither did I to her. Again I realized this 'bestfriend' never once called me her bestfriend.
The reason why all of this came to light is because of my current 'bestfriend' of 14 years. I met her in my late 20s right after the college friend and I weren't talking any longer. I realized when I went to visit my 'bestfriend' that we hardly ever talk anymore. Which is to be expected since I moved out of state. However, I noticed that she doesn't talk to me about her relationships at all. But she talks with some of her other friends about it. Today, I just found out through her mom's Instagram that she got engaged today. I thought she would at least text or call me and tell me the news, but I got nothing. I haven't even texted her for a month, (since a friend died) and before that a few months. I knew she was dating and I knew eventually she was going to get engaged. But when she told me she had a boyfriend and didn't even talk to me about her feelings towards him during the time they were dating is what got me thinking. She has never once called me her bestfriend. She actually calls the other girls her bestfriends. And I rememberd what she told me a long time ago, long before she actually started dating, about when she gets married she wants the friends she grew up with to be in her wedding because it would be weird if I was in it. (I've been knowing her since she was 9 years old, and she has been knowing those girls since she was about 5/6 yrs old. two of them at least. I understand that there is a huge age difference between us, but that didn't stop us from being friends when she was younger and hanging out and talking and stuff. And she even said that if she gets married she would pay for me to where she is so I could go to her wedding.
But now, with the way i feel, I really don't even want to go to her wedding anymore. I feel like I have been kicked to the curb way too many times by so-called 'bestfriends'. And maybe that was mostly my fault because I wanted to be close to someone and to have someone understand me and be my close friend. But to be told, it would be weird for me to be a part of her wedding as a friend, to never be called a bestfriend, to never hear her share her feelings about someone she liked to me and to not even be told that she got engaged, is all just a little too much. I am really truly done with 'bestfriends'. I'm not looking anymore, I'm not caring anymore. I will be bestfriends with myself.
11:56 p.m. - 2020-07-12
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Never expressed anything to me - 2020-07-21
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