So a few days ago that so-called 'best friend' got engaged. I only learned about it because i happened to get on Instagram and her mother posted pics of them and her ring on her finger. It was around 8pm my time so it was early her time so she had lots of time to call me or text me and let me know. However, I didn't get a text until the next day in the afternoon, that said, 'so this happened yesterday' with a picture of her and her fiance and her with the ring on. All I could do was say, congratulations, which I really didn't feel in my heart. Because when you have good news you want to share it with those close to you or your family and friends at least. I guess by her telling me the next day she still considers me a 'friend' at least. But then the next day i was on instagram again and saw the VIDEO of the when he proposed to her and something in her voice just urked me. But I guess it was the feeling that she really wanted to marry him, only I didn't know that because she has never once shared any of her feelings about him in the past year that they were dating. She barely even told me when they just started dating that she was dating. She didn't share how she felt, she just gave the experience of how they met and how he was pretty much watching her on the down low and trying to get to know her. And never once have she expressed her feelings toward him to me. i even had to ask her if they had kissed and she was like, yes, they have, but she didn't tell me anything more. It just reminds me of what she said some years ago when i told someone that she wasn't really serious about some guy and that she was too young but that wasn't the case because she never told me what was going on with them, so I pretty much assumed that she was imagining that the guy liked her. But she said, now she know not to tell everyone everything. Which pretty much says she wouldn't tell me anything ever again, which she hasn't. Even though we made up over that incident. So now, I'm pretty much gonna leave it alone and move on. Whoever she shares her experiences with, won't be me and even though it hurts, i'm moving on. Like I said, I'll never have a best friend, husband or kids. so i might as well, do whatever i want.
2:12 p.m. - 2020-07-21
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